Key West, FL – March 11, 2013
The next adventure is coming soon. If you want to keep up to date, follow the blog via email (look for the link on the right hand side or bottom of every page), facebook, or twitter and you’ll know as soon as I’m lost again.
If you don’t know who Wally is, you should probably read his posts from the first, second, third, fourth, fifth, sixth, seventh, and eighth months first, otherwise you will think I’m talking to myself.
Key West, FL – March 11, 2013
“All right boys, that’s it, there you go, pack it up, pack it up, job’s over.”
How’s it going down there, Wally? Everything ok?
“Oh, here he is, finally coming down to say hello. I thought you were too busy taking pictures with girls in bikinis to remember us.”
Wally, it’s the 21st century. You can’t go around calling grown women girls.
“Women, girls, whatever, you still forgot about us down here in the gut.”
I’d never forget about you, Wally.
“Where’s our postcard then? You bought three dozen of the things.”
I would have bought more if I had everyone’s address, but whatever, you don’t get a postcard.
“What? Why not?”
What are you going to do with a postcard? You can’t eat it. Consider that chocolate dipped key like pie your postcard.
“Those thirty-two stamps you got better be self-adhesive, I’m not wasting tongue strength on anything but ice cream.”
Yea, yea, so what’s the final damage report anyway? We gonna make it?
“Well, we got a few nicks and cuts and you sat on your ass so long we gotta rebuild it from scratch again, but I’ve got the blueprints around here somewhere. It’s nothing a bit of key lime pie and ice cream can’t fill out nicely.”
You get that half-gallon? That should help.
“Yea, but you know I don’t like Neapolitan.”
Didn’t seem to be a problem when you ate it all.
“Well, I don’t want to be picky, but the chocolate really overwhelms the other flavors.”
Seriously? Chocolate? Are you complaining about this?
“I said I don’t mean to be picky.”
Saying that doesn’t make you not picky. Being not picky makes you not picky.
“What? I can’t have one complaint? It’s not like I just pulled you through 4,000 miles of paddling without any real injury and you–”
What about that rib?
“That rib? That rib! Enough with the rib already! That was three whole days out of nine months and it hasn’t hurt you since January! You’re as good as new and you’re complaining about some rib from two months ago! I’m working miracles here.”
Maybe you should go for sainthood.
“If sainthood is a giant couch in front of a sixty-inch TV then I’m all for it, otherwise, not interested. Season 3 of Game of Thrones is just around the corner!”
Game of Thrones? Really? Is that where we’re at now? Waiting for the next episode of a TV show?
“Mostly I just want to sit on a couch.”
Aren’t you even just a little sad?
Not even a tiny bit?
You don’t miss Minnesota or Lake Superior?
“It’s -20 up there right now. The only time I want it that cold is when I’m standing in front of a freezer door trying to pick a flavor. Take a load off, you’re in Key West. Drink a margarita. We just finished the adventure of a lifetime.”
Oh come on, Wally, you know I hate that.
“What phrase, adventure of a lifetime?”
People are always saying that to me. Adventure of a lifetime this. Adventure of a lifetime that.
I hate it. It’s so limiting.
It matters, Wally. It’s the secret of this trip. It’s the secret to life.
“It’s just four little words.”
Yea, but they’re in the wrong order and that makes all the difference.