Angle to Key West: Eight Months (2/11)

Wally's Soulmate

February 11, 2013 – Tampa, FL

Wally, why are you hiding?

“Hiding? I’m not hiding, I was just looking behind this shoulder-blade for a few spare parts I left somewhere.”

Are you scared of a bunch of 4th graders?

“What? Me? Scared? Are you kidding?”

I don’t know. They don’t scare me as much as the 7th graders.

“7th graders! Are you trying to give me a heart attack?”

So you were scared?

“You didn’t tell me about the 7th graders!”

Is that a problem?

“Look here, Out of Order, bears and wolves in the north woods are one thing, 7th graders are another.”


“Bears and wolves can be reasoned with, they act rationally, attacks are rare and usually only happen when they’ve been fed by humans.”


“All seventh graders have been fed by humans.”

I think there’s about a hundred of them.

“Well, it has been nice knowing you. We’ve had a good run.”

Where are you going?

“I’m going to go take a nap. If I die, I want to die there in my happy place. I had this amazing dreaming that we were home and sleeping in a bed and everything was beautiful and perfect and there wasn’t salt encrusted in every pore. It felt so real.”

We were home.

“Wait! We were home? WE WERE HOME?”

Yea, we passed right by Tallahassee.

“WE WERE HOME AND YOU LEFT AGAIN? Are you purposefully torturing me now?”

Not purposefully.

“It seemed so real.”

It was real.

“I hate you.”

We couldn’t stop right there! We are so close! We might not make it to nine months!

“Because of the seventh graders?”

No, because Key West is less than a month away!

“Quit with your lies.”

No, really, it’s right there. We are so close.

“Right there. So close. Finally.”

But we just have to survive these seventh graders. What should we do?

“Don’t look them in the eye, that shows aggression. Wait, maybe you should look then in the eyes to show aggression.”

This isn’t helping.

“What do you want from me? I’m just a repair guy!”

Don’t sell yourself short, Wally. You’re also a friend.

“Awe, isn’t that cute. Are you going to ask to be my Valentine next? Too bad! Already got a hot date with that blood cell I met back at the leech.”

Where are you going?

“The appendix, everyone says it’s outdated, but I think it’s a classic.”

Ok. I will handle the seventh graders, you keep fixing things. One month to go.

“One month to go.”

4 thoughts on “Angle to Key West: Eight Months (2/11)

  1. And a few true quotes from Tampa 4th graders’ “thank you” letters received in Tallahassee:

    “Thank for coming to our school and not saying I can’t, I have to keep going to reach my goal!

    “Thank you for making me have confidence in my dream.”

    “You cleaned up pollution from Lake Superior, You cleaned up earth.”

    “Were the town people nice?”

    “Your presentation sounded pretty cool….except for the leaches…..I wish they made some kind of leach spray or something that would make leaches go away.”

    “”Thank you for coming in and teaching us. You are a very nice and cool guy!”

  2. I love Wally! You’re almost there, Big D!
    Thanks for the quotes from the school kids, Odin!

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