Ottawa River, Rockland, Ontario – July 18, 2013
I’ll reach the City of Ottawa tomorrow and all the big boats will turn left into a canal that will take them south to Lake Ontario while I continue Living the Dream of being a voyageur by portaging over a dam. Part of me thinks it will be a Reel Relief to get past the wakes and groaning motors, but it’s Knot Easy to say goodbye to all the names.
Naming boats can be Hard to Handle and there’s Never Enough advice out there, so I thought I should Finally offer mine after thousands of miles watching boats pass me by. I know it’s not my oFishal Business to do this, but I thought I’d Seas the Day. With this handy guide, naming your boat will be No Worries. You’ll shoot ’em dead like Dock Holiday.
Whether it’s a Starter Boat or a Liquid Asset naming a boat should be a Reel Pleasure and you shouldn’t Compromise on it. Boat names are more than just Skin Deep so you want to think about it after you’ve been Just Reelaxin’ for a while, not when you’re tired After Tennis or Golfed Out. You don’t want to just Fax It in like you’re working from a Home Office, but it should Absolut-ly Knot drive you to drink every Jen and Tonic you see either.
It’s ok to be a Slow Poke about naming your boat. This isn’t trading Stocks and Blondes, you don’t have to be Reel Quick or avoid a Late Payment, just don’t be a Knucklehead.
You want a name that makes you happy, that could make even the grumpiest Doctor Smile or reminds you of Quit In Time at the Branch Office. You’re not On Business, your boat is an Indulgence, an Aspen Alternative, and it you want to convey that.
The Bottom Line is that you want it to reflect your personality. Perhaps Pegasus is good if you like to fantasize about riding mythical creatures that don’t exist Fore Reel or perhaps Evermore VII if you want to demonstrate your ability to commit to something forever for the seventh time. I’m sure your third wife would be Reel Happy about that gesture. Just be sure to have a Contingen Sea plan in case you need to Bail Out.
Hopefully this guide has helped and is Knot Guilty of causing any Miss Content. At least it is free so you didn’t have to break the Piggy Bank to pay for it. If you take nothing else from it, just remember that the most important thing is that you’re Havana Good Time.