“Excuse me, I don’t mean to interrupt.”
I’m sure that’s not true, but go ahead, Wally.
“Well, I must have been dreaming or something because for a minute there I swear we were in LA.”
Yea, we were.
“And I saw some venison, so we must have been in Minnesota.”
Right again, but we’re in North Carolina now.
“Ok then, just refresh my memory a little because it’s been a long time since fifth grade geography. When did they move LA and Minnesota to the East Coast?”
We took a plane.
“A what? A plane you say? What is that?”
You know what a plane is.
“Ahh yes, I do seem to recall hearing legends of a flying device. But surely whose don’t actually exist! Surely if such a wondrous invention were real we wouldn’t be paddling a tiny boat across a continent to a place where we could get to in a single day!”
You know planes are real.
“Nay, surely, dear sir, you do jest. These devices cannot truly exist!”
They do. The first one was invented just up the coast from here. Which we will see because we won’t be in a plane flying too high to see anything. Why are you talking like an English aristocrat anyway?
“English aristocrat! I was going for gentleman pirate!”
You’re not even close. Throw in some “ahoys” and “avasts,” maybe an “arrrr” or two.
“I’m a gentleman pirate, not a common deck swab.”
You just sound like a bad Englishman. Pirates aren’t gentlemen anyway, that goes against the whole point of being a pirate.
“Whatever, forget the accent. Why are we flying around the country. I don’t want to go all House Stark on you, but Winter is Coming!”
Always with the Game of Thrones.
“Do you want us to freeze to death? What are you doing taking weeks off?”
I thought you loved breaks!
“You can’t take them all at once! This isn’t like a pint of ice cream. There is a limited supply, we’ve gotta ration them out!”
Oh, quit worrying!
“Yea, I guess you’re right. It isn’t like everything will freeze solid up there by November. Oh, no, wait, that is exactly what it’s like.”
Don’t worry, Wally, Spring isn’t even over yet. We got all summer to worry about it.
“Summer is like two weeks long in Minnesota.”
Yea, but it’s a glorious two weeks.
“You’re going to get me snowed on. I can feel it.”
Probably, but if it gets cold enough we can resupply with ice cream and it won’t melt.
“But how will we eat it when we can’t feel our fingers?”
That will be a trick, won’t it? But look, Wally, it’s not snowing today. It is bright and sunny and the wind is at our backs. Isn’t that all that really matters?