Highlands, NJ – June 11, 2013
“Did I just get preempted for a big fish?”
Wally, it was a whale. They aren’t fish, they’re mammals.
“A whale, whatever, you preempted me for a whale?”
Don’t sell yourself short, it was a whale and New York City.
“I dragged you across how many portages without complaint?”
“I fixed how many bruised muscles and joints? I paddled how many days and nights? I shivered in the cold of winter. I burnt under the sun. I repaired salt-encrusted skin. I fixed cracked heels. I fought off leaches, mosquitoes, and noseeums. I stared down alligators, crocodiles and sharks. Not for days. Not for weeks. Not for months. For an entire year and you preempt me on our anniversary for a whale you saw for all of five seconds?”
But it was a whale!
“Now I know how all your ex-girlfriends felt on Valentine’s day.”
It’s a corporate holiday!
“It’s important to me!”
“Yes! You’d know that if you loved me.”
“Well, no, not at all, I actually hate Valentine’s Day, but whatever, you preempted me for a fish.”
“Whatever. You always do this!”
“This, this is just like you! I should have listened to my mother.”
Are we breaking up?
“At least your exes got the satisfaction of knowing they didn’t end up with some guy who sleeps under bridges in Jersey.”
Dodged that bullet!
“But me? No, I was there sleeping under the bridge too.”
Life is cruel sometimes, isn’t it?
Like a bird shit coated duck blind.
“Don’t even get me started.”
Happy One Year, Wally!
“Happy One Year.”